Q

I figured that work’s perennial. Right so blocks are over SO? I still have 24 articles to somehow conjure up by Tuesday, with a slew of other shit work besides. So I’ve decided against doing something that will never end anyway. Instead I shall be here to do some RECOMMENDATIONS~. Yay!

OHYEAH did I mentioned? I FINALLY managed to get my hands on Hip Hop Jelly today. Quit asking me what it is, not my fault if you have no life:

IT IS THIS! NOW PREASE BE AWED BY AWESOMENESS.

I quote sixthseal.com:

The Paddle Pop Hip Hop Jelly is described as an apple and peach flavored ice confection, but the thing that makes it stand out is it’s…well, malleable nature.

Indeed YES, it is like icy jelly. Or like jelly ice. Whichever, the point being it’s WEALLY GOOD. So today I randomly came across this mamashop at Clementi (Yeah k WHY was I at Clementi – long story, I ended up stranded in a Bus Stop located ‘After Estoril Mans’ DON’T ASK and somehow groped my way into civilization to be towed home by my mom.) at just felt this immediate instinct, that HHJ was near.

HELL YES I BOUGHT IT ATE IT LOVED IT though it was prolly the dumbest thing to do. Because I was wet from the rain, and deathly cold as any icemother. Also, I was about to get in my mom’s car. So, really – not the smartest thing to do. But worth it. TOTALLY worth it. I mean it’s not everyday you find HIP HOP JELLY in stock!

Now to the climax of this post. And I MEAN CLIMAX AS IN OMFH IT IS A TONGUE ORGAAAASM!

THE. WHIRLEY. POTATO.

The photo does not do justice to the true extent of it’s omnipotence. And neither can ANY description I attempt. NOTHING. Nothing can ever fully capture The Greatness of The Whirley Potato.

Everything about it is divine. The shape, the seasoning, the size the cut the moisture the crunch. It is the POTATO GOD. It is the HEAVENLY MASTER POTATO OF ALL POTATOES.

The potato is elegantly sliced into a spiral shape, then skewered through a stick, deep fried and dusted with cheese powder, to provide OPTIMUM eating pleasure. (If you ask me this should be the shape of ALL FOODSTUFF from today on.)

First your teeth meets the crisp golden surface of the potato; your tongue comes into contact with the cheese powder. It is this gentle invasion of tangy sweetness – this series of EXPLOSION that then settles in so comfortably you start to believe it’s impossible to live without it’s taste.

As this taste condenses on your tongue, you sink deeper into the layer of potato. It is perfection. Not thin to the point of being like a chip, not thick enough to be a fry (I mean what ARE these lousy substitutes since the birth of The Whirley Potato?) The perfect width. At this point, the combined pleasure of the outer crispiness giving way to satin softness, the pure sauteed fragrance it bears, and the mothergoodness of the cheese powder, elevates you to this realm of FOOD NIRVANA.

Even the process of ripping layers of potato off the stick incites this primal ecstasy that reminds me why I keep myself alive in this world of cruelty, pain and homework.

Woah somwhere there I had to take a moment off to exalt silently about The Whirley Potato and my memory of it, this thing really has quite a grip on my emotional state.

Anyway, this isn’t really called The Whirley Potato, though to me it remains as that. It’s some Korean invention (I LOVE THEM KOREANS) I think they call it the spiral fried potato? It also comes with a range of other flavored powders.

K I was gonna put up some songs and shit but I decided that the Whirley Potato warrants a post of its own. Even having it share this space with the Hip Hop Jelly is a little blasphemous but ah well.

PLEASE GO EAT THE WHIRLEY POTATO / THE SPIRAL FRIED KOREAN POTATO / TORNADO POTATO / THE REINCARNATION OF POTATO GOD, AND ACHIEVE NIRVANA WITH ME!

Edit: While re-reading this post, I actually had to scroll repeatedly just so I can get to see the picture like, many times and closely. It’s like I’m watching porn, but more embarrassing. Cause it’s not a naked man it’s a naked freaking potato. If I had to choose I want to get my teeth on the potato. Screw the man. No wait, I’d rather screw the potato too.