I miss St. Nick’s.
In a way it has left me largely disillusioned about life outside of its haven.
SN is essentially this large family of very different individuals sharing the most inexplicable but strongest bond I’ve ever felt in my life (which yeah is kinda short, but I know a good thing when I have one). The SN Spirit. I took it for granted that throughout my life, everyone will be as accepting, as loving, as like-minded as the girls in SN.
K it didn’t break me, I have to take it that life really IS like that, and there are jerks and bitches populating this Earth and they can very well eat you for lunch. But my point here is that in SN, it’s not like that.
Even our most vicious of bitch fits are just petty girl fights that mostly end with hugs and reconciliation (usually on Reflections Day, which I think summarizes the SN spirit pretty well despite it’s emotional namby-pambyness).
In which other school can you, in the middle of assembly, have an entire 4 cohorts of girls looking up at a rainbow in the morning sky and hear this near collective intake of breath; or have everyone cheer for a single girl (who might very well be a stranger to you) on her last lap of 2.4, even joining in to finish the run with her; or singing ‘IJ Spirit burning bright’ the loudest you’ve ever sang and crying between balloons during a teacher’s last day of school?
It’s not about the age, the fact that we’re in a convent school, that we’re single sex, or that we’re united in being forced into wearing SN socks. It’s just something that happens when you’re in SN. You’re taught that to survive, you have to love.
Love yourself, love your friends, love those who hate you. It’s with this unspoken motto in mind that we spent four of our greatest years. I don’t know how to describe it, but the closest I can get is beautiful. It’s an environment virtually free from any real form of shittyness.
I’ve met some amazing people in Hwach, and it’s one of my greaaaatest wish that they can experience the SN spirit because it’s just so beautiful and they are too. Yeah, just that. Beautiful. Basking in our love and joy and peace and rainbows and butterflies (as in, seriously, we have a butterfly garden), everything is just purely beautiful.
There were so many people I can respect in SN, despite their being total opposites. Their passion, their attitude and spirit, their ability to be genuinely kind and willing to help no matter what.. everything about all SN girls becomes so impressive omgosh I don’t think I’ll ever finish this post properly, neither can I actually go on anymore.
I just miss being around beautiful things a lot. :-(
Q 