Q

Month: January 2011

How quick life moves when you’re eighteen.

Just three hours ago, there was I, lying in bed – thoroughly broken. It’s just everything that’s been happening and PMS and trying so hard to tell myself I’m not unhappy.

It’s a little early, but #12 – When you’re unhappy, admit it.

I hadn’t felt so miserable in about a year. Basically, I couldn’t stop thinking about how God IS real – but for everyone else but me.

It’s hard to explain, but I have seen Him at work, sometimes through me – so I believe in him. But somehow, I’ve always felt that he has never helped ME much. At least not in any significant or evident way.

Now I think it’s probably I don’t need that kind of help. Well, not yet.

So I was lying in bed pretending to sleep while my family took turns trying to get me to talk. After awhile they left me alone. I was just crying and crying and wondering why God was there for everyone except me.

And then I thought – k screw this. Maybe he isn’t even real after all. At least not in my life. Yeah and I kept trying to convince myself that, but somehow in me I couldn’t believe He did not exist.

Which is kinda special right? I mean, usually people who want to force themselves into believing but inside there seeds a doubt. I never knew I was capable of so deep belief so that’s great I guess.

Anyways, I was really upset. Yknw, I’ll probably call it heartbreak. The kind of feeling where someone you love so much, and trust so much, probably more than anyone else in the world – isn’t there when you need him the most. You KNOW he can, but he doesn’t.

What does that show? So I thought, if you care then show me a sign.

It didn’t seem very obvious to me at that point of time, but after more weeping silently in bed and generally angst against the world, my tutor, who is also a family friend, visited us randomly.

She came in and asked what was wrong, and tried to coax me into telling her – so it all came out. Everything I’ve been trying so hard not to think about.

She was both sympathetic and logical, telling me to just stay strong and keep God’s love with me, while dissecting my problems and finding the right approach to it.

Towards the end she also asked me if my period was due and finally diagnosed me with a bad case of PMS.

I feel much better now.

January 29, 2011
Nothing else

I’m such a fake.

What gives me the right to tell you how to be happy when sometimes I can’t even keep that up in my own life.

Fuck you life. All I want is to be happy. I’m not asking to be the rich or top the class or anything. I just want to be happy.

And I do all sorts of things. Tell myself it’s okay and it’s God’s plan and it’s not as bad as I think it is, and that it doesn’t really matter and to think positive.

I don’t even tell people half my problems because if I do it becomes real. And because I tell myself they are irrelevant.

God, do you really think it’s fair to just keep them coming?

Maybe you do but I can’t understand it just right now.

To hope that thinks will be alright, and to try your best to make them right, it doesn’t work. Things just happen and everything else are human concepts to try to keep things in control.

So give me the chance to be upset once in awhile.

January 29, 2011
sun it rises

#10 – Be happy for others.

Everything aside, I’m internally quite prideful. Or at least assured of my own abilities.

Many of us are.

But sometimes life is just this way – things that happen to others may not be given to you, no matter how much you deserve it.

Have you ever heard others talk endlessly about their opportunities and their successes, and the only thing you could think is – I can do it so much better.

The only thing that is preventing you from happiness at this point is yourself. Do not think of it as you being deprived, think of it as someone being given this beautiful chance.

Is it, in any way, not something to be happy about? Especially if said receiver is a loved one?

JOY comes in this order – Jesus, Others, Yourself. I’m sorry if I sound preachy, and if you’re highly non-religious, choose to ignore the Jesus part.

But really, others. Life is not just about you. So rid of the jealousy, rid of the pride, and just let yourself be happy for others. In the long run, you’re the one who benefits.

What is love but the ability to share your friend’s accomplishments. If you aren’t capable of even this simple act of selflessness, you are without love.

Then yes, you are are deprived. But not of all the opportunities, successes or other stuff your friend has but you don’t, but of the simplicity of joy and the knowledge of love.

#11 – Occasionally allow yourself to mock others.

Alright this is quite contradictory to all I have espoused upon so far, and somewhere in there I know it’s morally incorrect, but I think it’s healthy to just let go of yourself sometimes.

Frankly, we do this quite often. There are countless breaks we spend giggling over the less fortunately endowed (and there are so many of them in Hwachong), or the characteristically strange (and trust me when I say STRANGE).

WHY is it alright? Well as long as it isn’t fully confrontational. And by that I mean snapping rubber bands at little men who happen to not take baths, during Econs lecture (this phase is very much passed so don’t judge kthnx). What’s the harm?

The only two reasons I can think of NOT to is

a) would you like it if a bunch of people laughed at your quirks?

b) it shows a certain amount of inner self-consciousness to want to transfer judgement on the less fortunate.

BUT the pros far outweigh these, as long as you keep it in check within the group and do it for purely entertainment reasons without much malicious purpose.

a) GROUP BONDING.

b) Laughter is very, very healthy.

c) I MEAN C’MON SOME OF THEM DESERVE IT SO MUCH.

d) It makes life so much more interesting.

e) It makes you feel better about yourself during your self-deprecating moments.

That said, DO NOT GO HOME AND TELL YOUR MOM I TAUGHT YOU TO MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE ALRIGHT.

What I mean is, everything in moderation. Just give yourself a chance to unleash that rearing bitch-head at least ten minutes a week, and maybe for the other seventeen hundred minutes you’ll be a much nicer person to everyone else. (-:

January 29, 2011
Never too busy for
happiness!
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Write-Your-Own-Happiness
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#7: Go out of your way to help people.

Admittedly, the happiness you derive from helping others PARTLY comes from self-fulfilling reasons.

We think, ‘YAY, I AM SUCH A GOOD PERSON, WOOTS!’

That’s alright, you don’t have to feel guilty about it. But it’s also true that everyone has an inborn conscience that gives off endorphins when we help others for purely altruistic reasons.

When others feel happy, so do we. If you had a part to play in that – it’s even better! :-)

#8: Think about babies~

Babies are the most adorabubble, wholesome, pure things on Earth. I love babies so much!!!

Okay besides the whole fangasm, babies are great reminders that pure beauty still exists on Earth. Somehow all babies are such pretty creatures. Even the deformed ones look like tiny mortal angels.

I think it’s because they aren’t scarred by all the schemes and ulterior motives and suspicions of each other that plague our lives at about six of age or something. Lucky creatures..

#9: Don’t be self-conscious.

Have you ever felt like your entire day was ruined because you have somehow unearthed some kind of physical flaw you can’t stop obsessing over?

Or because you might have offended someone and you won’t stop fretting about what you should do to make things right?

Just – don’t. If you aren’t a total insensitive Neanderthal with negative emotional skills, then chances are YOU ARE WORRYING TOO MUCH. This is also known as The Illusion of Transparency or The Spotlight Effect (Read more here: http://youarenotsosmart.com/).

Basically we all believe that people notice us a lot more than they actually do. In actual fact, no one can tell you have a new pimple, or that you let slip something embarrassing about your pet dog.

Everyone is too engrossed in their own set of Spotlight that they don’t pay THAT detailed an attention to the minute faults you might have. Well, unless you have severe BO or a disturbing tendency to drool.

Then YES, PLEASE. Kindly do not ignore the multiple apprehensive glances thrown your way and seek some help. But chances are – if no one actually says something, you’re completely safe.

So stop worrying! :-) You are probably wonderful just the way you are, if you actually persevered and read all the way till here.

I applaud you. Goodbye. My goodness, I would love to post some bitchy stuff, but it would just make me seem like a hypocrite when I’ve been espousing about being happy and stuff. K MEBBE NEXT TIME BYE.
January 27, 2011
He be snatchin’ yo people up.
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#6: Fix all existing relationships.

Contrary to what we think, our happiness is greatly based on those we care about.

To be happy yourself, make sure you are on good terms with all those around you.

If you’ve not apologized to a friend about something you’ve done (no matter how long ago), do it. If you haven’t thanked your friend for being one, why wait.

If there’s someone you once spent all your days with, but don’t talk to anymore, make an effort to show that things are alright between you two. Even if it isn’t, at least be courteous.

That kinda boils down to forgiving others too. (#1)

At this age, (I’m not sure about when I get older but I have a feeling it won’t be much different), our life practically revolve around human relations.

You can be rich and healthy with perfect grades, but can well be suicidal if you’re an outcast. On the other hand, you may be stressed out with your massive workload or suffering from diabetes, but if you have everyone giving your support, life becomes so much easier, no?

So yes! Today’s little nugget of wisdom – make an effort to mend all bad feelings with loved ones.

05 – A time you thought about ending your own life.

Never.

I’ve been through nasty little phases of insanity. Those include:

1) Cool detachment and complete fearlessness of death.

That was around the time I started merging religion with my very bleak outlook towards society. I was so disappointed with the world’s general fail-ness and the futility of life that I told myself I’d be completely alright with being dead right there and then.

2) Being very fascinated with suicide.

Even reading up about it and constantly pestering my parents about what it is like to die. I was in primary school, by the way. My mom got a bit worried, or maybe she just didn’t find my questions that amusing anymore, and started telling me horror stories about how if I think about suicide I will one day do it.

So I stopped.

3) The Math Test Drama.

As the 2 Faith girls will fondly remember and many times during dinner-conversations bring up. That was when I failed an entire year of math in secondary 2, and decided in Term 3 to start studying.

The first studied-for test I took, I failed miserably.

I was strangely very distraught (I have no idea why I expected to ace it when I’ve spent the past 7 months sleeping in class), and ran to the toilet to cry and angst very bitterly. After sitting in there for 10 minutes into classes, Shereen, Gloria, Cat, Becky and Celine came in to look for me.

There was basically a lot of drama, crying, hugging, climbing over toilet stalls and I tried to cut myself with a NAMETAG. A BLOODY NAMETAG. I still remember thinking, shit – I’m gonna scar myself, better cut gently. And Gloria was outside screaming ‘DON’T KILL YOURSELF WITH YOUR NAMETAG WEIQING!!! DROP IT!!! DROP IT!!!’ And Shereen was half laughing, half crying.

4) To attract my grandma’s attention.

She kept cooking and ignored my nonsense. So I laid on the ground for a bloody long time and squirted ketchup near my mouth.

When she finally came out of the kitchen, she simply stepped over me and said: ‘Sleep in your bed! Don’t sleep on the floor!’ Disappointed but determined, I laid there lifelessly.

Then she shrieked: ‘EH WHY YOU ANYHOW PLAY WITH KETCHUP!’

I was convinced she was the most heartless grandmother in the world the entire afternoon. I HAD BEEN LYING UNCONSCIOUSLY AND SEVERELY BLEEDING FOR 15 MINUTES IN ENTIRETY AND ALL SHE COULD THINK OF WAS HER PRECIOUS CONDIMENT.

RIGHT. But honestly I have never ever really wanted to end my life. I always thought of the nice things people would say at my funeral, and I’d always cry thinking about it. I can’t wait for that day to happen, but I’d never intentionally make it happen.

I know this sounds exasperatingly egoistical but I would never want to hurt my family be depriving them of me luh.

OKAY I SOUND SO CONCEITED BUT IT’S TRUE. BYE.
January 23, 2011
Religion and Other Stuff
OH HOW VERY CREATIVE MY TITLE IS.

Had Awaken Follow-up today, it was pretty good to see everyone again. And thank you guys v v v much for the camera it’s very gay and pink and I love it.
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Write Your Own Happiness
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#5: Remember things and people that made/make you happy.

People tend to remember events that made them laugh, or things that people did that made them pissed off. Most of the time, we forget all the little things: something someone once said to you, something you did for another person, sharing a simple moment with a friend.

These are the ones that are the ones that slip by when you’re at your :-( times, but also ironically the ones that are most able to get your out of it. So what to do, what to do? WRITE THEM DOWN. Make an effort to somehow record these small moments. On Twitter or Facebook, if you’re a private person then a notebook?

When I reread my archives and is reminded of something that had a strong impact on me but I’ve completely forgotten, it makes me have so much hope for everything presently.

It can just be a scribble kind of thing of random observations that really touched you – example ‘saw a young kid offering to pay for his mother’s drink with his last dollar’ or ‘sister sacrificed TV time to help me wash my shoes’. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT EXCEPT I SOUND SO DOPEY, yours will be much more personal la you get what I mean.

You have no idea how much these will impact you in the future, when you happen to be in one of the funks, or if you aren’t feeling like such a nice person at that time. I mean, remembering that you are loved, and how capable of love others can be, is the best way to get out of the helpless self-pitying. It probably makes you re-evaluate yourself and gives you the spur to keep the chain of ~love going.

SO THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY KTHNXBYE.
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30-day Blogging Challenge
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04 – Your views on religion.

I was actually dreading this – because I have so much to say about religion, and no matter how much I go on about it I don’t feel like I’ve said enough. So this time, I’ll make it short and concise. I don’t think anyone much wants to hear my long exaltations about God anyway, because if they are ready to, they’ll ask me themselves. So I’ll segment this for the convenience of all.

K I don’t know if it’s right for me to say this, but I believe God is in every religion. And every religion, as long as it teaches the right values, is true. Religion itself is just a concept. A RELATIONSHIP with your spiritual self is the important part. I truly respect every and each religion. And most times, I’m pretty fascinated by them as well.

Life of Pi (and if you haven’t read it you should) has the protagonist being Christian, Hindu, and Muslim all at once. He devotes himself into every one of them and prays as each one, and loves as all three. That’s the kind of religion I respect. Being able to just fully take on the love of all religion, and not see a conflict, but instead the binding quality that is to love others.

Personally I’m Christian because I identify most with the teachings and values. At the same time I love Hinduism for their rich imagery and deep devotion, the Muslims for their utmost discipline and the Buddhists for their generous mercy and humility.

The most religious person is one who can discern the very essence of every single religion and fully embody it. Not someone who keeps strictly with his religious diet and/or donates wildly in church. That’s my personal take. Feel free to argue.

What I resent MOST about certain religious followers is their very insipid arrogance in their faith. Everyone knows one. The arrogant, superior, nosy, I-wanna-shove-my-religion-down-your-unholy-throat kind of person. The kind who speak patronizingly to you like you’re devil incarnate and worthy of sympathy just because you aren’t his/her faith. The kind who roughly insist and persist in bringing you to church just to satisfy his/her expanding self-righteousness.

It’s very painful to watch people like that. And unfortunately, there are many.

Of course, there are then those who choose to show others kindness, allow others to experience God’s love through them, and in that way introduce them to God’s power to change people. I’m using God in the general term, whichever you want it to be.

SO TO SUM UP – YES I THINK RELIGION IS IMPORTANT. It gives people the discipline and proper structure (we need some of that no matter how democratic we wish to be), to find themselves with God. It shouldn’t be overdone and the focus shouldn’t be on the religious system of course. When that happens, faith is empty and conflicts between religion abounds.

Faith, and the bettering of oneself, is the basis – Religion should be there to serve only as a guideline, a form of discipline, and a community for sharing your faith.

YEAP.

Briefly, about being a Christian:

I don’t really focus on the technical aspects (although those are important too la). I’ve always prayed but never really understood. But after this strange nihilistic phase I started to give myself a chance to believe. I mean, why not. Since I can doubt the existence of God, why can’t I doubt my own cynicism right?

So I humbled myself and did. Well – it didn’t make me perfect, but it made me understand love and made me learn how to be happy. Once I experienced God’s love, it made me reluctant to want to harm others or even myself. Not because I have to, but because I want to. It just made me have so much love for love, yknw what I mean?

Of course, I succumb quite easily to everything around me so it’s still a huge challenge for me to be nicer in general but yeah I do try quite hard. It’s really a lot of things la, and it’s v amazing. But I really don’t know how to express it all here. So any of you wanna talk about it or even question me you can srsly just harass me anytime I’m cool.
January 22, 2011
Hobx

Write-your-own-happiness:

#4: Get sleep.

So you’re healthy and fully functional. Enid Blyton told me when I was 7 that late hours make cross children. At 18 I’m telling you, no sleep makes you a bitch.

January 21, 2011
Day Three
I’ve been sleep deprived, severely constipated, and generally lacking of health care the past few days. Every day’s jam-packed and somewhat fulfilling but I’m dead beat.

But I’m here.
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Write your own Happiness
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#3: Spend time knowing yourself.

While surrounding yourself with people to prevent depression is important, so is spending time with yourself. Give yourself some space away from the madness of social interaction and get to know yourself.

Just do something you liked, maybe something zen and satisfying. Not the kind like aimlessly zombifying on Facebook, where you’ll look back and think WHERE DID MY WEEKEND GO. (Okay maybe cyber-stalking is zen for you, idk.) I myself have a wide range of such activities.

The most fulfilling would be reading. But it’s really time consuming, and once I start, I’ll spend the entire day reading novel after novel. When I can’t afford to do that I’ll buy a couple of Betty & Veronicas and Jugheads and spend about an hour or so with them. It leaves me happy and satisfied and ready for life.

If you are more activity-based, try walking or shopping alone. I used to be big on walking, it’s a mindless activity, where you engage in both external stimulation and internal reflection. When I have the time and energy, I used to walk from Ang Mo Kio back home. Holland V and assorted posh housing estates are also my favorite routes. I sometimes spend hours just walking around and admiring mansions. That makes me sound so creepy but I assure you it’s a lot more sane and wonderful than it seems.

Spending time with yourself is important because

a) You need to free yourself from the pressures of others and discover what YOU yourself truly want when distanced from external influence.

b) You need to get to know yourself. If you spend all your time with friends, you are introducing yourself to them, interacting with them, but never to yourself. The you in you feels neglected too. And I sound so, so much like a bad self-help.

c) To achieve happiness you need to understand yourself and what you truly want.

d) Everyone needs time to just think, consolidate their thoughts, be one with their inner self, et cetera.

Today’s rather corny, I might as well ask you to go chant the Buddhist mantra. Well, if it helps.
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30-Day Blog Challenge
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03 – Your views on drugs and alcohol.

They make a good meal. Just.

Drugs are retarded. They are a sign of weakness. Weakness at pursuing your own happiness, weakness at maintaining control, weakness at refusing your friends. Also, I hate people who do drugs with the conception that it makes them ‘cool’. It is retarded and so are they.

On the other hand, I have little faith in the drug abuse education in Singapore. There is rather a history in this actually. No one I know has any drug related problems, at least not that I know of, so drugs were never really part of my concern.

The only time they manifested in my life was the arduous and heavily hyped campaign against drugs. All of us have memories of that. The endless supplies of redundant accessories from badge pins to fridge magnets advocating the battle against drugs given to us. The constant talks, pamphlets, lessons conducted to educate us on ‘responsible drug usage’.

I WAS VERY CONFLICTED. The only effect this campaign had on my impressionable Primary school self was to make me EXTREMELY. CURIOUS. ABOUT. DRUGS. If they had shut their fat yap about it, I wouldn’t even have given it a second thought. But because they kept expounding upon the scariness of these miracle pills and how many had succumbed to it, and bla and bla, I REALLY WANTED TO TRY IT.

I mean, it sounds AWESOME. For a few months of sniffly nose and trembling in the corner, I can get high and escape from my troubles. According to the TV, the teachers, and the twenty-nine stories in the Drug Abuse short stories anthology, kids used drugs to FEEL GOOD~.

My logic was: I want to feel good too. I don’t mind looking like a zombie for a few weeks to get well and then choking Coke to feel good~ AGAIN. The thing was, the effects of drug abuse was never really explained properly. The most vivid image I have of it is some Edward Cullen-esque kid sitting in the corner being stoned. That didn’t look so bad. I mean, there wasn’t any blood or intestines or perforated brains. So why not?

This powerful and all-controlling substance sounded like such a miracle pill with all it’s psychedelic effects that managed to allure and addict millions (at least that’s what the media made it seem like) of kids MUST have some form of advantage to it.

I was so convinced I wrote a two and a half page essay discussing the failure of drug campaigns and how it creates greater exposure and attraction towards drug use, and even submitted it to my form teacher. Who was, from what I remember, half amused, half exasperated (again).

I was a very strange child, I was. So basically, BECAUSE of the drug-abuse campaigns, we’ve formulated strange and conflicting ideas of drugs, or at least I did la. IDK let me know how it was for you.

ALCOHOL. Is good. Have it twice a day. End of story.
January 21, 2011
DAY TWO
Also, MY BIRTHDAY~

Thank you everyone who stayed up to text/call! Everyone who wished me or dissed me and gave me awesome cute stuffz. THANK YOU 10A16 I FRANKLY WAS V TOUCHED wasn’t expecting it at all! Sorry I foiled your plans in the morning by being late haha BUT STILL I IZ RLY V HAPPY.

Why y’all so awesome I wanna cry. And all you CJ bitches and Cathleen XIE XIE FOR THE CAKE AND COMPANY. And Amanda and Debbie for the early-early surprise, I’ve been eating so much cake recently CAKE CAKE CAKE. Sounds funny after you say it many times. And Shereen and Gloria for the very sweet call/EGO-BOOSTING TEXT MESSAGE.

BUT. My birthday isn’t so much about me lah. It’s to give all of you a chance to celebrate my birth CUZ I’M BORN TO MAKE Y’ALL HAPPY. Juuuuuust~

AND AGAIN THANK YOU TO EVERYONE! All of you are just so incredibly sweet I feel like I have to kowtow to everyone in gratitude. OKAY CYBER-KOWTOW.
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#2: Surround yourself with people.

When we’re down, we need time alone. Most times it works. Sometimes it gets worst. You start to refuse the company of others for an extended period of time. This makes you more prone to depression.

There is no one around to distract you, to share with, to give an objective opinion. When alone you start to exaggerate the situation and obsess over this blown-up version of the truth. You sink deeper into helplessness, at the same time refusing help because it seems so futile.

Do you see the vicious cycle here?

ALLOW OTHERS TO HELP YOU. Sometimes I think alright I’m so upset. Today I promise I will sulk in the corner and not talk to anyone. But in good company, it’s almost impossible to do so. Friends are such an effective source of distraction. And most times, they offer great insights and advice as well.

SO TODAY’S LESSON: give others a chance! Happiness cannot be achieved alone~ This is really funstuff! I already have something in mind for tomorrow!

02 – Where you’d like to be in 10 years.

A place that isn’t some kind of Futurama space-zone. I want to live near the countryside. Maybe a vineyard of sorts with animals. I want to be successful enough to provide for my family and live comfortably, but not successful enough to be working every minute of my life.

Also, kids. There will be happy kids I will love with everything I have.

So basically, I don’t have much insight for the future. To be realistic I will be married, in Singapore, with a career I enjoy, and in touch with my friends. Moderation in everything. If you think that’s a little unambitious of me, then I’ll tell you what the Stickypost on this blog already tells you:

My ultimate goal in life is to find happiness in everyday life.

So I guess in 10 years I want to be happy, in a place I will be happy in.

HAPPYGIRL SIGNS OUT~
January 19, 2011
Day One
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WRITE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS
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#1: Forgive. Whoever it is, whatever it is.

I’ve always seen forgiveness as the key factor to enlightenment heh. Not only does it release yourself from all that angsty anger, it also breaks the vicious cycle of mutual resentment. Want to find happiness? Firstly you have to let go of your anger. Even if it is forgiving yourself, a family member, or a friend – be the greater person and do it.

Granted, it isn’t easy, but it is the only thing within your total control. Rather than spending your time getting upset, exaggerating their faults, or plotting ways to retaliate, why not just learn to love again?

One way I find effective is to ask yourself, what makes (insert mortal enemy here) like that? For him/her to have done (whatever heinous thing he/she did), he/she must’ve been pretty messed up him/herself. Once you feel sympathy (okay and fine, superiority), the forgiveness comes in easy.

ALRIGHT and that was Day One in my path of enlightenment! That went well enough~ Hopefully I’ll have enough bullshit wisdom to forge my way through 365 days.
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30-DAY BLOG CHALLENGE
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01 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

Single. I won’t say miserably – honestly haven’t thought about entering a relationship again. Neither am I blissfully single – because c’mon don’t bullshit la everyone wants ~somebody to loveee.

More accurately, I haven’t been giving much thought about it. With the whole transition into JC, the rather startling disappointment in realization that boys are basically intelligent primates, and being caught up with schoolwork, new friends and old friends, there isn’t much time left on pining away for anyone.

OH BUT THERE WAS THIS PHASE where I had this hugeassmoungous crush on Joseph-Gordon Levitt and honestly, HONESTLY thought okay damn, if he were real I would so totally date him. OK THAT MAKES ME SOUND SO PATHETICALLY GEEKY LET’S MOVE ON.

But on a serious note. I think I’ve somehow wizened up and learnt to distinguish my own feelings. Crushes aside (and the strangest crush of the 2010 goes to this absolutely adorable boy at this kopitiam WHO WAS CRAZILY MATURE AND SWEET to his sister and I wanted to marry him. YEAH HE WAS SADLY IN PRIMARY SCHOOL BUT LOVE ENDURES NOTIONS OF TIME AND AGE OK.) Wait, what was I saying? YEAH crushes aside, I know I’m not ready nor have I met anyone I would become un-single for.

(Well besides JGL and the primary school boy boy HOMG.)

OH THERE IS ONE INCREDIBLY SAD AND ANNOYING THING ABOUT BEING SINGLE.

And that is having to endure the scarily mushy-mush-ness of other couples. I’m generally tolerant of couple displays of affection, but SOMETIMES. IT’S. JUST. SO. HARD. TO. BEAR. You know those that makes your brain liquidate and leak out of your ears and you wish so hard you had the courage to gouge out your eyes?

When you aren’t in a relationship, it’s hard to empathize from their point of view, so these very in-your-face proclamations of love become agonizing and difficult to ignore. And when you angst about it, they’ll be all like YOU JEALOUS BETCH and we can be all WHUT NO. IT’S REALLY GROSS. And all. You know.

And very obviously I am running out of steam so I shall absolve you from having to sit through this tedious and again, incoherent self-rumination.

G’DAY AND TOMORROW FOR DAY 2! :-)

OH and in case you care enough for an update (or, if you’re still reading this, instead of ripping off the challenge and running off to pimp your own weblog):

SCHOOL IS.. surprisingly enriching (at least the first week was). Everyone found their drive I guess. I managed to LEARN during class. Imagine that. Alright ignore that.

EDIT: NO. STRANGEST CRUSH OF 2010 GOES TO RAJ KOOTHRAPALI FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY. He is adorkable.
January 18, 2011