Q

Write-Your-Own-Happiness

#6: Fix all existing relationships.

Contrary to what we think, our happiness is greatly based on those we care about.

To be happy yourself, make sure you are on good terms with all those around you.

If you’ve not apologized to a friend about something you’ve done (no matter how long ago), do it. If you haven’t thanked your friend for being one, why wait.

If there’s someone you once spent all your days with, but don’t talk to anymore, make an effort to show that things are alright between you two. Even if it isn’t, at least be courteous.

That kinda boils down to forgiving others too. (#1)

At this age, (I’m not sure about when I get older but I have a feeling it won’t be much different), our life practically revolve around human relations.

You can be rich and healthy with perfect grades, but can well be suicidal if you’re an outcast. On the other hand, you may be stressed out with your massive workload or suffering from diabetes, but if you have everyone giving your support, life becomes so much easier, no?

So yes! Today’s little nugget of wisdom – make an effort to mend all bad feelings with loved ones.

05 – A time you thought about ending your own life.

Never.

I’ve been through nasty little phases of insanity. Those include:

1) Cool detachment and complete fearlessness of death.

That was around the time I started merging religion with my very bleak outlook towards society. I was so disappointed with the world’s general fail-ness and the futility of life that I told myself I’d be completely alright with being dead right there and then.

2) Being very fascinated with suicide.

Even reading up about it and constantly pestering my parents about what it is like to die. I was in primary school, by the way. My mom got a bit worried, or maybe she just didn’t find my questions that amusing anymore, and started telling me horror stories about how if I think about suicide I will one day do it.

So I stopped.

3) The Math Test Drama.

As the 2 Faith girls will fondly remember and many times during dinner-conversations bring up. That was when I failed an entire year of math in secondary 2, and decided in Term 3 to start studying.

The first studied-for test I took, I failed miserably.

I was strangely very distraught (I have no idea why I expected to ace it when I’ve spent the past 7 months sleeping in class), and ran to the toilet to cry and angst very bitterly. After sitting in there for 10 minutes into classes, Shereen, Gloria, Cat, Becky and Celine came in to look for me.

There was basically a lot of drama, crying, hugging, climbing over toilet stalls and I tried to cut myself with a NAMETAG. A BLOODY NAMETAG. I still remember thinking, shit – I’m gonna scar myself, better cut gently. And Gloria was outside screaming ‘DON’T KILL YOURSELF WITH YOUR NAMETAG WEIQING!!! DROP IT!!! DROP IT!!!’ And Shereen was half laughing, half crying.

4) To attract my grandma’s attention.

She kept cooking and ignored my nonsense. So I laid on the ground for a bloody long time and squirted ketchup near my mouth.

When she finally came out of the kitchen, she simply stepped over me and said: ‘Sleep in your bed! Don’t sleep on the floor!’ Disappointed but determined, I laid there lifelessly.

Then she shrieked: ‘EH WHY YOU ANYHOW PLAY WITH KETCHUP!’

I was convinced she was the most heartless grandmother in the world the entire afternoon. I HAD BEEN LYING UNCONSCIOUSLY AND SEVERELY BLEEDING FOR 15 MINUTES IN ENTIRETY AND ALL SHE COULD THINK OF WAS HER PRECIOUS CONDIMENT.

RIGHT. But honestly I have never ever really wanted to end my life. I always thought of the nice things people would say at my funeral, and I’d always cry thinking about it. I can’t wait for that day to happen, but I’d never intentionally make it happen.

I know this sounds exasperatingly egoistical but I would never want to hurt my family be depriving them of me luh.

OKAY I SOUND SO CONCEITED BUT IT’S TRUE. BYE.