Q

I’m such a fake.

What gives me the right to tell you how to be happy when sometimes I can’t even keep that up in my own life.

Fuck you life. All I want is to be happy. I’m not asking to be the rich or top the class or anything. I just want to be happy.

And I do all sorts of things. Tell myself it’s okay and it’s God’s plan and it’s not as bad as I think it is, and that it doesn’t really matter and to think positive.

I don’t even tell people half my problems because if I do it becomes real. And because I tell myself they are irrelevant.

God, do you really think it’s fair to just keep them coming?

Maybe you do but I can’t understand it just right now.

To hope that thinks will be alright, and to try your best to make them right, it doesn’t work. Things just happen and everything else are human concepts to try to keep things in control.

So give me the chance to be upset once in awhile.