Q

As an impressionable child I was enlightened by the possibility of endless chocolate after an episode of the Simpsons.

At the time I was young and ignorant. My body was a infinite furnace of calorie burning and my appetite knew no bounds nor fear. I can’t say that has changed very much except the eternal furnace proved to be quite fallible.

NONETHELESS.

Cadbury only cemented my belief that a Chocolate World was possible. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were true?

Chocolate advertising has since evolved. For the worse.

While slightly entertaining, the Cadbury eyebrow dance is mostly freaky – and where the hell is the chocolate you’re trying to sell?

Children deprived of chocholate.

And then again we have Homer high on choklit.

Adult ODed on chocolate. Still, a more favourable position to be in.

Sadly, the people of the no longer imaginative world misconstrue Cadbury ads and criticize them for being ‘disturbing’ and ‘sexual’ in nature. (I mean like WHUT? You find solemn children wriggling eyebrows less disturbing than a world with happy music and EVERYTHING CHOCOLATE?)

All right yes. The chocolate man above is very obviously experiencing multi-orgasms just by holding his chocolate dog and if I’m not wrong he goes on to devour his chochopup. But c’mon. Who, in the face of INFINITE CHOCOLATE SUPPLY, wouldn’t go completely berserk?

Face it. If it were possible and fat-free, you’d be giving your best orgasm face right now, too.

Actually that was all. This is just an inane self-amusement to keep me from angst-ing over my chocolate lacking state. IT’S LIKE WHAAA. I didn’t realize our chocolate resource was running low and I forgot to top it up. Now all I have is a stick of Kinder Bueno and half a box of Van Houten’s.

Sigh. :-/

And this is really random but I learnt it from Stomp! Yeah I know right. That I actually learnt something useful there besides that Singaporeans love picking fights in the bus, clipping nails on the MRT, and having sex in the public.

Oh well. MAKING HEART SHAPED EGGS IN A FEW EASY STEPS.

Do this immediately after boiled. The chopstick is pressing down on the egg, by the way. In case the camera does tricks and you’re too thick to realize.

It becomes like that. ISN’T IT JUST SO ADORABLE AND REDUNDANT!?

There really doesn’t have much point to it. But the most incredible things in life don’t. I guess you can use this to jio girls, but then again if your relationship is based on heart shaped eggs then it is pretty much doomed to failure. I’m sorry slightly bitchy because of non-chocolately-ness and my inability to spell chocolate right despite it’s recurrence throughout the post.

GOOD BOY AND GOOD RIDDANCE.