‘O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.’
| — | “As I Walked Out One Evening” (W.H. Auden) |
Month: May 2011
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Off to CAP
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currently
i’ve been wasting an obscene amount of time on YouTube where I should be doing work.. but it’s not without it’s merits!
my favourites playlist is bloated with all sorts of wondrous things, from newly discovered bands to speed paintings to a bunch of classic Ellen episodes to memorable SYTYCD sequences i managed to ferret out. it’s amazing. like Jianyi said, i don’t know what i was doing before YouTube.
hilarious moments:
SHE IS JUST INSANE. also i secretly wish i were her i mean.. DARREN CRISS (and Justin Bieber!, but aye).
also re-watching Vihart’s because she is awesome like that.
speed painting, something i’ve always wished i could do – and totally would experiment with if i had a tablet. I WANT A TABLET, have i mentioned that before? i love watching the process of painting, i can spend all day marvelling at how pictures are formed, something i could never have done before the advent of YouTube.
mickey mouse club also takes up a substantial chunk of my YouTube time. there were more impressive videos with britney spears and christina aguilera, but this is here because i can’t over whatever they were wearing. for a moment i thought.. is this song about concentration camps or something? because it’s totally prisoner-of-war gear. anyway no, it was the fashion (a bleak time we fortunately evade when reviving retro or vintage lol). look out for justin timberlake.
i have also discovered the wonders of playlists, and found a bunch of live sessions by the jakes. i. love. the. jakes. especially Sameer Gadhia, his voice makes him incredibly sexy980. except now they’re all newly packaged as Young The Giant. i don’t really get that but ah well – they play good music. also, live sessions > studio records. they are so beautiful i get epileptic seizures of euphoria every time i listen to them.
Glee got this song stuck in my head for AGES. i went online for the original and realized it was better than the Glee version. and that is pretty rare (OK i know Glee is trashy la but it’s so strangely addictive don’t pretend you don’t watch ok). anyhus, i don’t care what you say – this song is great! in it’s own right.
her space holiday, my song for the day. i love unique rifts that are unpredictable but natural at the same time.
and also, shuta hasunuma, my discovery of the day. i just love it, that’s all. it is in itself of such distilled beauty, i find it difficult to complicate my feelings for it.
SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WITH THIS SUDDEN PROLIFERATION OF GOOD MUSIC? everything’s so beautiful i want to cry. musicians are geniuses. so are artists. and dancers. and entertainers. and t-pain with autotune.
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GE 2011
watching the GE elections unfold, what struck me most wasn’t the alarming strength of the worker’s party, nor the enthusiastic topless uncles screaming in coffee-shops, but rather something more subtle and telling of the citizen’s psyche.
I find myself quite satisfied with the outcome. (at least mostly – TPL out George Yeo in, please!) I’m a supporter of the PAP yes, but ultimately, a supporter of Singapore (succinctly put forth by Celine’s younger brother: ‘I hope Singapore wins!’). if any member of an opposition party proves worthy, he or she deserves in. vice versa for the PAP.
so yes, what I want to address is what I’ve witnessed over several conversations on Twitter. I didn’t participate in any, but by observation I’ve concluded that most of the pro-PAP are so because they truly like the PAP, while the pro-opp are so because they hate the PAP. that, by itself, I don’t have a problem with. I only mentioned it to provide some form of justification for the phenomenon I don’t quite know how to put forth.
being an open supporter of the PAP, I’d inevitably receive backlash, or at least have my view undermined – but I’ve got to say it like I see it. this is it: while the pro-PAP are content lamenting a loss of seat confined to personal grief, the pro-Opp tend to lash out at those who are in favor of the PAP, either damning them as ignorant or just straight out insults.
my question is this – if you hate the PAP because they suppress any opinion that differs from their policies, but at the same time condemn, insult, and label those who made the autonomous choice of favoring the PAP, doesn’t that make you, well.. a hypocrite?
I’m not here to voice out against supporters of the Opposition. In fact, I WANT to hear how – and why – you love the Opp (the why part is unfortunately always meagerly expressed).
maybe I should retract my claim of being pro-PAP, because really I’m more of pro-choice and pro-Singapore. I chose the PAP and I’d love for the Opp followers to respect but challenge my choice (and that’s very much possible since we’ve evolved from the barbarian era where ‘me no like’ means ‘me no like’.)
Singaporeans, you’ve alternately impressed and disappointed me on the most exciting GE media platform of 2011 (ie Twitter). I never wanted it to be this way, nor do I think I’ve been blighted by bias – but the fact remains that the pro-PAP presented their support with way more grace than the other (there are exceptions of course).
again, people, speak for yourself. but while doing so, preserve your dignity by lending others the privilege of independent choice. we’re not communist, we don’t need to be unnecessarily agitated if another doesn’t share your opinion.
And I’d quote Joe again, I hope Singapore wins. whatever the results we’re all voting for a better nation to be part of, never forget that. right now my fatigue induced self would like to say something along the lines of one people one nation one Singapore, but HOW cheesy would that be?
dayum, speaking of.. some cheese right now would be fantastic.
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General Elections of the 2011? Wait for me.
the whole general elections thing is starting to piss me off. this is why i’m better off being politically apathetic: because Singaporean voters make me lose faith in humanity. personally, i’m for the PAP. but that’s just me. i wouldn’t fault anyone for leaning towards the opposition or having serious issues against PAP. what i can’t stand is firstly, the rationale behind how many choose their political preference, and secondly, the way they go about expressing it.
some context: i like PAP because after bouts of irrational loyalty, angsty tween doubting and general nihilistic apathy, i’ve reached a point – at 18 – where i can safely say i like the PAP objectively based on both instincts and observation. there was a whole tweenhood era where to rebel against the mainstream was yknw, the thing (a state many unfortunately do not emerge from) where i carefully nitpicked all the faults of our government and lived in a bell jar of dramatic, self-induced fear that our entire society is unconsciously subservient to the brainwashing by the government.
through the years, i found myself able to justify every one of PAP’s actions/decisions. and yeah, i do admit that there were certain questionable policies that bordered on neurotic, but on the whole, i honestly think they did the best they could in any given circumstance, and if there were faults, they’re probably a compromise in prevention of a more severe issue (that none of us, in our micro-view as civilians, can foresee).
also, i started questioning the truth of (what i now think as highly exaggerated) claims that Singapore censors almost all dissent. yes, i HAVE heard horror stories about the villas and all like y’all did – but think about it. don’t you seem to be reading/watching/listening to more dissent than propaganda these days? or maybe it’s just me listening to my hardcore underground subversive communist radio stations, but i can offer more examples of issues raised challenging the PAP (usually unsubstantiated and narrow) than actual propaganda. frankly, i don’t mind a little propaganda to fuel patriotism as long as i ain’t living a delusion of luxury while eating dirt cookies (read: Haiti) or singing worship to a balding demi-god (read: Kim Jong Il).
that said, one of the reasons why Singaporeans piss me off is because they fail to realise they aren’t brainwashed. they are sometimes just purely brainless. this is the whole rationale thing, where people – in their very laughable struggle against authority so they can be subversive and hipster or whatever you call rebel kids nowadays (hippies, goths, punks, hipsters, sk8erb0is, they are all the same to me – just in different eras and with alternating tightness of pants. yes i know i sound old and jaded) – hate on the incumbent power just because. and being very triumphant about it.
‘oh, why i support opposition? because i hate PAP to the max! lohr. why i hate PAP? dunno leh.. cuz everyone like them mah. i like be different. i also got always listen to indie music example the regina specster. actually by the way, the opposition team name is what arh?’
i mean, really? the stupidity and pretentiousness of it all just blows me away. that is why i sometimes cannot stand it when people bitch about PAP without proper justifications. i have total respect for you if you can offer me a proper explanation why you support (insert opposition party here) or why you’ve never pledged allegiance to PAP, but if your reason is that you wanna be all pUnkstar_559 and ‘h8 on the aUthority, mAN!!11’ then please, just.. never mind. there’s nothing you can do if you’re born brainless.
also, if you hate on PAP because Singapore is ‘too Singaporeany for you’ and you want a party that can magically provide you with winter and legalize drugs so you can make snow angels while smoking weed like the white kid you wish you were, then why don’t you just migrate kthnxbye.
the second part of this story makes me really really sad. )-‘: i can’t really get mad over this, because Singaporeans are just like that. we love cheesy, irrational drama and getting riled up over things. we just love it, i’m telling you that Singaporeans thrive on anger. we are vultures ravaged by hunger and the hint of vulnerability drives us crazy. we are also incredibly jealous people. so any form of privilege in Singapore transforms into a point of vulnerability too. i don’t know how we do it, but we’re just very magical like that.
a classic example would be Tin Pei Ling. i know that in every country, stupid stuff happens in politics. childish things that you hate to love but have to admit keeps you interested. that includes parliament punching, Freudian speech-slips and young emerging leaders posing with designer bags. it’s the kind of thing we SHOULD be ashamed of even caring about, but we do. like i said, jealousy. i mean yeah i was all like – bitch please i’m not gonna vote for someone with a Kate Spade when i want one myself – and that’s exactly what SHOULDN’T be affecting our votes. what does having a kate spade have to do with Tin’s legitimacy as a political leader? i won’t deny that it did change my perception of her, but it shouldn’t be this way.
which is why i found it incredulous that people.. and i mean a crowd of ADULTS, would actually gather at rallies to shout ‘KATE! SPADE! KATE! SPADE!’ when Tin makes her speech. and these are the productive, cultured people of our era whinging about mounting taxes. what’s WRONG with you, Singaporeans? it’s funny. i laughed. i did. but what did Tin do to warrant that? and what mother born you to even have the heart to act in such an insensitive and juvenile manner? Singaporean adults, you make me laugh. your suagu-ness makes me laugh. your habit of eagerly sinking your claws into every remote and irrelevant fault like untrained, needy puppies make me laugh.
it gets a little too far, however, people get unnecessarily nasty to significant people like Lee Kuan Yew or Goh Chok Tong. my take is that people are DESPERATE for power. Goh, one of the most powerful people in Singapore, addressing you, and you have the power to OFFEND him, to upset him, to affect his demeanour. what would most bitter Singaporeans do? Jeer of course. do you know what i hear behind your jeers? senselessness – you have no idea what you’re jeering for. desperation – you just want a sense of control over someone hundred times your importance.
at the end of the day, there is one thing PAP has failed to do. that is to raise us into mature citizens. we’re an entire nation of spoilt, squealing babies, pink-faced with perspiration, unable to comprehend a larger world beyond the confines of our minds. we’re too sheltered, too spoilt, too untrustworthy to be given the task of voting. it’s like a vicious cycle. PAP don’t trust us -> don’t let us learn to grow up -> we are untrustworthy -> PAP don’t trust us.
i can get why LKY’s so upset and agitated recently. all the PAP hating.. he’s human after all, and it’s bound to hurt if you’ve spent your entire life being paternalistic and insanely stressed out GOVERNING AN ENTIRE NATION
of whiners(albeit being super duper rich, i can’t get over that), and then hear your children bitching out against you. if we use a micro-allegory, that would be your slightly neurotic mom who isn’t perfect, but gives her all to provide you with the best. and then your dad has recently passed away. your mom asks you ‘do you love me?’ you slap her in the face and calls her ‘a dumb bitch who ruined your miserable life’. and right around mother’s day too. you naughty kids. (granted, the mom in this case is paid. a lot. to raise you. but still.)it shakes me to see people so blatant, so unhesitating in lashing out at our government. it’s not because i’m PAP-loving and therefore annoyed to see them getting dissed. if it were any other party, any other political leader who had shown to be genuinely concerned and contributed to society in any way, it would hurt me equally to see Singaporeans behave this way.
this is why the General Elections leave me so disheartened.. :-(
along this thread, i’ve conceived a theory that since Singaporeans want someone who can ‘represent them’, and who wouldn’t poke at their volatile feelings of envy, nor come off as contrived or pretentious, who they inherently and subconsciously want as their leader is an Ah Lian. They don’t want a well-educated, pretentious leader with connections and obnoxious brands. they just want one of them. A LIAN. THAT IS WHERE I STEP IN. i can totally take over the world. they can undermine me by unearthing photos of me camwhoring with my bugis street bags but that will just enhance my Lian street cred and bring me to a whole new political arena of awesomeness.
i will truly be the watershed mother of all political watersheds that’s ever been semantically abused as a watershed when it is not a watershed. and it is midnight which explains why i sound slightly derailed now.. but really, i think i’ll be great in politics. i’ll just talk about pokemon and promise to open more awesome bubble tea shops. i feel like eating some yogurt now.
Q 