Q

people often are attracted to enigmas. the mysterious, you-know-they-have-some-sort-of-emotional-baggage-but-they-won’t-say-what, you-will-never-truly-understand-them, seemingly complex human types.

i know this may sound accusatory, but i stand by it: these people – these deep, elusive, silent people – usually just have not much of a personality to present. that or they’re too dense or cowardly to figure themselves out. so why do we as humans find the cryptic qualities of such tragic heroes so appealing?

it is because we are lesser humans than we believe ourselves to be.

there are two scenarios.

1) ‘complex’ and/or ambiguous people are usually indicatively troubled. we are drawn to them because we believe we have the power to protect, help, or reform them – basically to pull them out of whatever deeply emotional turmoil they’re in. the urge to help does not, as much as you wish it to be, spill forth from your compassionate waterfall of a heart. it is more likely to be a manifestation of your own insecurities, and your desperate desire to either prove to yourself you aren’t in such a bad situation (there are others worse off than you, and you have the power to help/protect them) or to image yourself after a kind of saviour-type. both are telling of a deep seated fear that your own failings may surface if you don’t hype on another’s. usually the most unstable of personalities are prone to feel infatuation towards the frail, the troubled, the ‘mystery’.

2) these ‘enigmas’ leave almost every aspect of their thoughts so vague that it is possible for you to construct, without inhibitions, the ideal self you want him or her to be. in other words, you are exploiting his or her ambiguity of character (what you call, mysteriousness) to romanticize the concept of him/her. it’s a delusional relationship from both sides (he/she’s too preoccupied with not understanding their selves, while you’re just investing your emotions on an illusory ideal.) why the need to create a romanticized object of desire when we can seek a living personality? again, insecurity. an ideal is a piece of fiction, written entirely by yourself, and therefore in your total control. by shifting your affections to an actual character, you will necessarily be subjected to unpredictability, possible blatant rejection, the truth. people fear that. they turn to ‘enigmas’ because nothing will ever be explicit. there is a way to explain the hell out of any nasty situation you may be caught in with these ‘enigmas’. only those with enough self-assurance are ready to take on loving a proper personality.

okay it’s just a general observation and while may apply to quite a huge number, is not indicative of everyone la.

an example, then.

you are reading someone’s livejournal. that someone muses endlessly about how ‘yesterday, it was (an ethereal atmosphere) and all i wanted to do was (insert wistful imagery here), i wonder if (pensive, pensive). sometimes i (unexplained sorrows and regrets).’ you are entranced. it ends with a single line that hints at an acknowledgement towards someone who’s made some sort of dent in his/her life: ‘if you’re reading this…’. you spend an hour dissecting every knowledge you have of yourself and him/her, at last concluding that yes. he or she was talking about you. you are very very happy. OMG!, you think (in a very un-elusivebutterful way), he/she who seems impenetrable in his/her bubble of self-agony and awesomeness actually needs/noticed/depends on/might-even-like me.

you are a fool.

the musing comes about when one cannot form proper resolutions from his thoughts. the acknowledgement is probably a reference to his or her pet dog. again, you’re projecting your ideal on this ambiguity. the whole cycle is ridiculously stupid. people need to grow some balls and stop obsessing over these mysterious types. they are just dodgy people who can’t make up their minds and are too pretentious to admit it blatantly. it’s in fact quite sad for them because they’re just lost and helpless people. so yes, people who are irrationally infatuated over frail and mysterious fairies of this motherearth, kindly wake up your idea and quit romanticizing them – you are idolizing an image you’ve created, it’s very sad and soppy and makes me feel very nauseated and disillusioned. is all goodbye.

i’m very lucky because most people i know are pretty self-assured. or at least enough so to hold their own and not have to hide behind an annoying shroud of elusiveness. people who are well-adjusted, optimistic and open (or are quiet and private, yes also possible) about their lives are often the deepest ones i know. pretentious mysteriousness is pretentious.