Q

There was a time when i was, like everyone else, a Macs beast.

We’ve all hit the sinful milestones: the double cheeseburgers before dinner (i did that way too much), three consecutive days of macs, three consecutive meals of macs, your first megamac (and the digestive nightmare that followed), your first up-size everything, that time you sat on fluorescent plastic yellow seats for 6 hours straight nursing mcwings and garlic chili studying for finals. Friends, i’ve been there too.

That’s why it surprised me exactly how easy it was to quit MacDonalds.

I still remember how it happened. It was the end of J1, and my senior Subhas linked me to one of those documentaries with voiceovers hinting at cataclysm and uncomfortable amounts of shots panning caged chickens. One of the many expounding the horrors of fast-food chains, mass production, and animal cruelty.

To be frank, i wasn’t that affected by the documentary and can’t even remember its title. The only reason i watched it to the end was because i loved documentaries. Anyway. After watching Subhas was telling me how he wants to swear off Macs. And i casually agreed, just for the heck of.

And oh my god it was that easy.

Okay in the first few months, i just made the conscious effort not to have it when the thought arises. But i still did occasionally, for convenience, for politeness when i’m out with friends. After 6 months, without even being aware of it, i was almost completely off Macs.

The thing is, never once had i craved Macs. NEVER. Not once in the past three years. The reason why i didn’t take the Macs fast seriously initially was because i expected the blast of withdrawal symptoms from all that additives everyone’s always on about. Nada. I could walk past a Macs and breathe in all that heady fumes and feel nothing.

That was when i realized that the only thing Macs does for me is convenience. It’s just where you go when you can’t think of anything to have and are too lazy to travel any further than 2 blocks. Also, cheap. But i could get my fixes at hawker centers for that. Adieu, Macs. Seems like i don’t need you at all.

My affair with Macs was officially over when, 6 months into my casual abstinence, i had a meal there and FELT QUEASY THE ENTIRE DAY. Followed by runs, but i’ll spare you the intricacies of my bowel apocalypse. This happened again, the next time i had Macs. After that, never touched Macs again.

Not only did i not feel like Macs, ever, it also didn’t make life anymore inconvenient for me. I concluded that we only associate Macs with convenience. We are primed to have Macs pop up in our heads, in all its obnoxious red and yellow, whenever we think “eat what. cheap. close. fast.” There are so, so many alternatives available.

I don’t think this has made things difficult for my friends either. Most of them don’t even remember i’m off Macs. Sure, i’ve stolen a couple of fries when i’m hungry. AND OKAY FINE i had that McChicken because stupid Justin wanted his Prosperity Burger (i did it for love). But all in all, i call it a successful and pretty much permanent Mac-stinence.

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OKAY THE IRONIC BIT IS. Maybe i wrote the entirety above because I’M ABOUT TO BREAK FAST AGAIN. After 3 years. My first voluntary entrance into MacDonalds. And that is because:

MACDONALDS HOW DID YOU DO IT.

How did you finally track me down as a disbeliever, and launch an attractive marketing campaign just to get me back to the dark side?

My first voluntary, non-convenience, non-circumstantial MacDonalds. All because i cannot resist masochism in the form of spiciness. Seriously. But this is gonna happen k, even if i have the runs for days straight.