Q

Had a night of intense dreams.

In one, we were in a group viewing a series of contestants, somewhat like a beauty contest. As a joke, one of their photos were fixed so that her abdomen and legs weren’t hers. I first noticed that she had an uncannily hairy belly below the bikini, notified the others and started giggling.

Then it escalated. I could not stop laughing, and the dream was consumed with the sensation of my laughter: how my stomach seized together, how hearty my lungs felt before the cathartic expulsion of air, how full it sounded, and how i enjoyed every moment of it. I just let myself go with that one. It felt good.

In a later part of my dream, an old man who was presumably very loving, wise, and respected, passed away. I had a fondness for him, but then was told that before he died he had been listening in to a personal conversation of my friend and i. Although in IRL standards this qualifies as creepy, in the dream i construed it as him having watched over us. Went to his altar of sorts and placed in it something i had stolen but intended to return (from an electronics store).

And then i started to cry. And by cry i mean CRY. Gut wrenching, full pressure against brain, howling wailing cry. Cried for a long time, with a disturbingly tight knot in my chest i couldn’t heave out. Everyone around me looked really concerned and sympathetic. In a way it was very cathartic as well. Woke up with wet eyes.

So my dreams last night were about relief i guess! To just get all that pressure out of my system.