Q

These days I feel more receptive of change, which is very much unlike my style. When I think of my past, it’s no longer with urgent recapturing but with nostalgic fondness. More often than before, I’m excited doing things relevant to the future. It’s a nice feeling, to have a drive towards change – even if I’m not completely sure what into.

This introspection is probably fueled by meeting people old and new. From new people I learn how varied human experiences are, which does something to previously narrower perspectives. From old friends I learn retrospection: we have grown in different ways but it takes each other to fully reflect on how we have done so. The biggest thing that has changed is that I’ve become more honest with myself. Thank you, self.

For the following month/years, I’m gonna confront it head on. There are things I’m excited about, friends coming home, settling into a career path, graduating. There are things that daunt me, the absence of J, having to choose a career path, graduating… But hey. I’m prepared.

There will be a time I have to confront and get over the prickly things that still bother me, but baby steps.