I haven’t posted in ages and it’s weird to return in this manner but hoSHIT-
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE VIDEO 4LYF.
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land of the taken
I’M NOT DEAD.
Or maybe metaphorically.
I would love it if I had enough time to make observations about myself and the world so I can update this space with charming philosophical hypothesis with anecdotes and witty asides.
Or if I were really desperate I could be vapid and gloss over the fact that my life is devoid of reflection by posting lots of fancy town photos with food and dresses.
Or if I were trying to be elusive I could post insinuative whimsical statements about my deep inherent emotions and struggles with the world.
But nein. I don’t even know what I’m so busy with, but I just am. I’ve had no time for proper reflection – right now my outlook in life is mired and I haven’t sorted out what I really think about things. Also, I am kind of grim about human beings in general. But give me some time to think that through.
I had two days and a night off after Block Tests which I unfortunately did not fully exploit – I was so exhausted I spent a good amount of time at home sleeping. Now it’s back to the books and school and really, no whimsy for me.
The amount of Is in this post says vaguely something about my priorities now.
Also, this:
Which Xinyi and Beni at all costs banned me from uploading on Facebook. WHY? It’s so adorable. Anyway it will be here so your friends will not accidentally stumble across it and judge you for being friends with me. And all our mutual friends who may view this are so strange themselves, they have no right to judge. So there hehehe.
Funtimes, where are you? :-(
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Saudade
General Paper and Literature Paper 1 tomorrow, marking the start of Blocks. I don’t really know what I’m doing here either, but it’s almost customary that before major exams I post – together with an apologetic note to self that I shouldn’t be.
During the March Break when I have more time to be not guilty when not studying when I should be, I’ll post about the things I miss about St. Nicks like 挤牛奶 and mushroom-cheese-toast and 姐姐妹妹们. Sometimes even I feel like I’m aggressively sentimental and may or may not border on annoying – but aiyah. Whatevs.
Everyone’s falling sick, and I kind of am too – but not explicitly. Like, I don’t have a motherhacking cough but I can feel myself being rather out of sorts and uncomfortable in many ways. My muscles feel odd, my intestines are being strange, and my entire sense of focus on the world has gone haywire.
I would consider myself pretty clueless at times about my surroundings, but at the same time largely aware intuitively. Like, sometimes I miss the bigger going-ons but at least I keep track with what I’m doing and who’s doing what and what I should do.
But today was a total surreal experience. The past few days have been flagged with incredibly vivid dreams that seem somewhat more real than reality itself. So much so that I’m more than a little confused. I don’t think I actually woke up fully, but was in fact walking around in a semi-unconscious state. I left things all over the place, forgot what I was doing, often lost track of everything around me. I sound like a character straight out of WSS.
Which reminds me… I should be studying. This post itself reeks of meandering thought processes and a certain lack of grounding, don’t you think? But never mind.
Well this certainly adds some excitement into my otherwise rather dreary and surreal current lifestyle. I know it’s very cheenapiangzi but I really don’t mind anyone scoffing at my choice of idols. Bosco Wong and Moses Chan are my OF ALL TIME favourite male artistes.
Also, just noticed that of the four, I prefer the less suave half. Interesting.. I’ll take it that being hilarious and oddly shaped ranks of greater importance than looks to me. Uhhhh…
OH RIGHT. I wanted to ask if anyone wants to watch this with me. I just want to meet them live, not so much of hearing them sing. The last time I went to watch a HK star, I was in primary school and he was Aaron Kwok (I know right, so old school cheenapiangzi). Enjoyed it but I fell asleep halfway, so. Tickets are priced at 78 onwards and only shitty seats are left.
I’ll definitely be posting more often, because I’m not supposed to. So I’ll see you around here and I’m wishing for my hyper-awareness to return because I feel like I’m on drugs and or hormonal overdose.
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wouldn’t it be nice?
As an impressionable child I was enlightened by the possibility of endless chocolate after an episode of the Simpsons.
At the time I was young and ignorant. My body was a infinite furnace of calorie burning and my appetite knew no bounds nor fear. I can’t say that has changed very much except the eternal furnace proved to be quite fallible.
NONETHELESS.
Cadbury only cemented my belief that a Chocolate World was possible. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were true?
Chocolate advertising has since evolved. For the worse.
While slightly entertaining, the Cadbury eyebrow dance is mostly freaky – and where the hell is the chocolate you’re trying to sell?
Children deprived of chocholate.
And then again we have Homer high on choklit.
Adult ODed on chocolate. Still, a more favourable position to be in.
Sadly, the people of the no longer imaginative world misconstrue Cadbury ads and criticize them for being ‘disturbing’ and ‘sexual’ in nature. (I mean like WHUT? You find solemn children wriggling eyebrows less disturbing than a world with happy music and EVERYTHING CHOCOLATE?)
All right yes. The chocolate man above is very obviously experiencing multi-orgasms just by holding his chocolate dog and if I’m not wrong he goes on to devour his chochopup. But c’mon. Who, in the face of INFINITE CHOCOLATE SUPPLY, wouldn’t go completely berserk?
Face it. If it were possible and fat-free, you’d be giving your best orgasm face right now, too.
Actually that was all. This is just an inane self-amusement to keep me from angst-ing over my chocolate lacking state. IT’S LIKE WHAAA. I didn’t realize our chocolate resource was running low and I forgot to top it up. Now all I have is a stick of Kinder Bueno and half a box of Van Houten’s.
Sigh. :-/
And this is really random but I learnt it from Stomp! Yeah I know right. That I actually learnt something useful there besides that Singaporeans love picking fights in the bus, clipping nails on the MRT, and having sex in the public.
Oh well. MAKING HEART SHAPED EGGS IN A FEW EASY STEPS.
Do this immediately after boiled. The chopstick is pressing down on the egg, by the way. In case the camera does tricks and you’re too thick to realize.
It becomes like that. ISN’T IT JUST SO ADORABLE AND REDUNDANT!?
There really doesn’t have much point to it. But the most incredible things in life don’t. I guess you can use this to jio girls, but then again if your relationship is based on heart shaped eggs then it is pretty much doomed to failure. I’m sorry slightly bitchy because of non-chocolately-ness and my inability to spell chocolate right despite it’s recurrence throughout the post.
GOOD BOY AND GOOD RIDDANCE.
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music & the mind
Virgil Griffith collected the ‘Favourite Music’ data of Facebook users from different US colleges, matched their corresponding genres to SAT scores and charted the link between music preference and intelligence. His findings are recorded below:
Quite a novel idea, but of course largely unscientific. His results are limitedly accurate (and quite haphazardly patterned as you can tell la), but I guess as an amateur attempt it does provide a rough overview of the kind of music you’re likely to listen according to your educational background.
I say educational background and not intelligence because,
1) SATs cannot best determine intelligence. And neither does most major exams for that matter but yeah whatevs. If you receive good education you’re likely to be well-prepped for SATs.
2) People of higher educational background socialize in circles where originality is prized so they tend to seek out more exclusive music, expanding their musical scope and are therefore more inclined to listen to ‘Alternative’ or ‘Indie’ or whatever else you call it. It is not that the less intelligent cannot appreciate these music. It is merely that they are not exposed to it.
So yes, not intelligence. Probably education.
Disregarding the above practical limitations, using personal experience I’ve established another hypothesis for this whole music/intelligence theory.
Hypothesis: Different music are not exclusive to different level of intelligence but rather, different TYPES mental faculties (i.e. physical, logical, emotional, social, creative, musical).
Let’s just assume I’m of just average intelligence (which I am not. Which is a pity because if I were of dumber I’ll provide a more balanced test subject. The perils of smartitude are boundless. Regardless.)
My music preference – by that meaning music I enjoy more so than others – ranges from T.I (0916) to Justin Timberlake to Modest Mouse to RHCP to Beatles and to Sufjan freaking Stevens all the way to Beethoven (though granted I listen to him only when I’m doing math or in the toilet).
A graphic aid:
SATs are based largely on logical, and somewhat creative abilities of a person. The ones who excel for SATs are logical, adept at solving mathematical sums and mentally summarising information and/or conduct mini science experiments in their head during the period of examination. We naturally bridge that with the ‘highest scoring’ music by Beethoven.
The frequency, tone, nuances, pitch, and whatever other musical thingamajiga of Beethoven sends out alpha waves that happen to stimulate the red part of the brain that specializes in logical thinking.
Along these lines, apply a similar theory to all other aspects of intelligence to the appropriate mental faculty.
Physical has the least contribution to SAT scores, therefore shunted to the lowest end of the spectrum, casually assumed as the ‘dumb people’ music. Although I would agree that Lil’ Wayne does indeed induce a kind of migraine in me that resembles a severe massacre of braincells (and thereby landing first place in stupidlandofmusic), he is an accurate exception to the otherwise misperceived music of the ‘dumb’ category.
What does Beyonce, Ludacris, and T.I have in common besides their ridiculous stage names? Yes, they are all under the umbrella term of ‘Hip hop’, and all rank low on the SATs score measure. Besides that, they have significant thumping rhythms more commonly known as ‘sick beats’. This quality as we all know often excite people into dancing, evident with it’s popularity in dance clubs. The term ‘Hip hop’ is double used as the dance genre.
What does all that tell us? That such music stimulates nerves that involve physical movement.
Although unscientific, my proposition is highly probable. It possibly makes more sense than the whole intelligence with SAT scores thing. Of course, it’s merely a proposition and limited in a sense that I am the only reference in the entire hypothesis. Meaning all the assumptions based on education, intelligence, multiple mental talents and musical preference are drawn from me.
For those who are more observant, or perhaps ardent listeners to Beethoven and therefore able to quickly make logical conclusions, you have perhaps already determined what the hypothesis should be modified into in order to promote further accuracy to the cause.
This modified and more accurate hypothesis shall end my post for today.
Hypothesis that is very probably true: Based on her music preference and range, Weiqing is talented in all fields of the human capabilities.
The end.
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RUN AND TELL THAT
HARROW MY BABIES.
I’m not dead neither am I emo nemo. I’ve just been.. preoccupied.
Who am I kidding? I just prefer sleep to cyber-surfing now that I am a jaded, osteoporos-y eighteen year old senior citizen. Seriously I might be having some form of old-age life crisis right now. ANYHUZ back to my not very eventful life. We’re watching Emily of Emerald Hill tomorrow, a preview:
YUP. The version staged by Margaret Chan last year was amazing. Well, besides the fact that there were two homosexuals canoodling away beside me in the dark NOT that I’m homophobic but THIGH RUBBING? really, now? really?
SO YES I have high expectations for tomorrow and IT’S IVAN HENG HE IS CROSS-DRESSING. This is not a confession but I’m always very fascinated by cross-dressing.
Am feeling a little odd fish right now, just recovered from a long, long nap and a reading of Wide Sargasso Sea. That itself qualifies me for very strange thoughts and behaviour. So yes I’m very disorientated.
I WILL B BAQ SOON PROMIX!
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How quick life moves when you’re eighteen.
Just three hours ago, there was I, lying in bed – thoroughly broken. It’s just everything that’s been happening and PMS and trying so hard to tell myself I’m not unhappy.
It’s a little early, but #12 – When you’re unhappy, admit it.
I hadn’t felt so miserable in about a year. Basically, I couldn’t stop thinking about how God IS real – but for everyone else but me.
It’s hard to explain, but I have seen Him at work, sometimes through me – so I believe in him. But somehow, I’ve always felt that he has never helped ME much. At least not in any significant or evident way.
Now I think it’s probably I don’t need that kind of help. Well, not yet.
So I was lying in bed pretending to sleep while my family took turns trying to get me to talk. After awhile they left me alone. I was just crying and crying and wondering why God was there for everyone except me.
And then I thought – k screw this. Maybe he isn’t even real after all. At least not in my life. Yeah and I kept trying to convince myself that, but somehow in me I couldn’t believe He did not exist.
Which is kinda special right? I mean, usually people who want to force themselves into believing but inside there seeds a doubt. I never knew I was capable of so deep belief so that’s great I guess.
Anyways, I was really upset. Yknw, I’ll probably call it heartbreak. The kind of feeling where someone you love so much, and trust so much, probably more than anyone else in the world – isn’t there when you need him the most. You KNOW he can, but he doesn’t.
What does that show? So I thought, if you care then show me a sign.
It didn’t seem very obvious to me at that point of time, but after more weeping silently in bed and generally angst against the world, my tutor, who is also a family friend, visited us randomly.
She came in and asked what was wrong, and tried to coax me into telling her – so it all came out. Everything I’ve been trying so hard not to think about.
She was both sympathetic and logical, telling me to just stay strong and keep God’s love with me, while dissecting my problems and finding the right approach to it.
Towards the end she also asked me if my period was due and finally diagnosed me with a bad case of PMS.
I feel much better now.
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Nothing else
I’m such a fake.
What gives me the right to tell you how to be happy when sometimes I can’t even keep that up in my own life.
Fuck you life. All I want is to be happy. I’m not asking to be the rich or top the class or anything. I just want to be happy.
And I do all sorts of things. Tell myself it’s okay and it’s God’s plan and it’s not as bad as I think it is, and that it doesn’t really matter and to think positive.
I don’t even tell people half my problems because if I do it becomes real. And because I tell myself they are irrelevant.
God, do you really think it’s fair to just keep them coming?
Maybe you do but I can’t understand it just right now.
To hope that thinks will be alright, and to try your best to make them right, it doesn’t work. Things just happen and everything else are human concepts to try to keep things in control.
So give me the chance to be upset once in awhile.
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sun it rises
#10 – Be happy for others.
Everything aside, I’m internally quite prideful. Or at least assured of my own abilities.
Many of us are.
But sometimes life is just this way – things that happen to others may not be given to you, no matter how much you deserve it.
Have you ever heard others talk endlessly about their opportunities and their successes, and the only thing you could think is – I can do it so much better.
The only thing that is preventing you from happiness at this point is yourself. Do not think of it as you being deprived, think of it as someone being given this beautiful chance.
Is it, in any way, not something to be happy about? Especially if said receiver is a loved one?
JOY comes in this order – Jesus, Others, Yourself. I’m sorry if I sound preachy, and if you’re highly non-religious, choose to ignore the Jesus part.
But really, others. Life is not just about you. So rid of the jealousy, rid of the pride, and just let yourself be happy for others. In the long run, you’re the one who benefits.
What is love but the ability to share your friend’s accomplishments. If you aren’t capable of even this simple act of selflessness, you are without love.
Then yes, you are are deprived. But not of all the opportunities, successes or other stuff your friend has but you don’t, but of the simplicity of joy and the knowledge of love.
#11 – Occasionally allow yourself to mock others.
Alright this is quite contradictory to all I have espoused upon so far, and somewhere in there I know it’s morally incorrect, but I think it’s healthy to just let go of yourself sometimes.
Frankly, we do this quite often. There are countless breaks we spend giggling over the less fortunately endowed (and there are so many of them in Hwachong), or the characteristically strange (and trust me when I say STRANGE).
WHY is it alright? Well as long as it isn’t fully confrontational. And by that I mean snapping rubber bands at little men who happen to not take baths, during Econs lecture (this phase is very much passed so don’t judge kthnx). What’s the harm?
The only two reasons I can think of NOT to is
a) would you like it if a bunch of people laughed at your quirks?
b) it shows a certain amount of inner self-consciousness to want to transfer judgement on the less fortunate.
BUT the pros far outweigh these, as long as you keep it in check within the group and do it for purely entertainment reasons without much malicious purpose.
a) GROUP BONDING.
b) Laughter is very, very healthy.
c) I MEAN C’MON SOME OF THEM DESERVE IT SO MUCH.
d) It makes life so much more interesting.
e) It makes you feel better about yourself during your self-deprecating moments.
That said, DO NOT GO HOME AND TELL YOUR MOM I TAUGHT YOU TO MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE ALRIGHT.
What I mean is, everything in moderation. Just give yourself a chance to unleash that rearing bitch-head at least ten minutes a week, and maybe for the other seventeen hundred minutes you’ll be a much nicer person to everyone else. (-:
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Never too busy for
happiness!
Write-Your-Own-Happiness
#7: Go out of your way to help people.
Admittedly, the happiness you derive from helping others PARTLY comes from self-fulfilling reasons.
We think, ‘YAY, I AM SUCH A GOOD PERSON, WOOTS!’
That’s alright, you don’t have to feel guilty about it. But it’s also true that everyone has an inborn conscience that gives off endorphins when we help others for purely altruistic reasons.
When others feel happy, so do we. If you had a part to play in that – it’s even better! :-)
#8: Think about babies~
Babies are the most adorabubble, wholesome, pure things on Earth. I love babies so much!!!
Okay besides the whole fangasm, babies are great reminders that pure beauty still exists on Earth. Somehow all babies are such pretty creatures. Even the deformed ones look like tiny mortal angels.
I think it’s because they aren’t scarred by all the schemes and ulterior motives and suspicions of each other that plague our lives at about six of age or something. Lucky creatures..
#9: Don’t be self-conscious.
Have you ever felt like your entire day was ruined because you have somehow unearthed some kind of physical flaw you can’t stop obsessing over?
Or because you might have offended someone and you won’t stop fretting about what you should do to make things right?
Just – don’t. If you aren’t a total insensitive Neanderthal with negative emotional skills, then chances are YOU ARE WORRYING TOO MUCH. This is also known as The Illusion of Transparency or The Spotlight Effect (Read more here: http://youarenotsosmart.com/).
Basically we all believe that people notice us a lot more than they actually do. In actual fact, no one can tell you have a new pimple, or that you let slip something embarrassing about your pet dog.
Everyone is too engrossed in their own set of Spotlight that they don’t pay THAT detailed an attention to the minute faults you might have. Well, unless you have severe BO or a disturbing tendency to drool.
Then YES, PLEASE. Kindly do not ignore the multiple apprehensive glances thrown your way and seek some help. But chances are – if no one actually says something, you’re completely safe.
So stop worrying! :-) You are probably wonderful just the way you are, if you actually persevered and read all the way till here.
I applaud you. Goodbye. My goodness, I would love to post some bitchy stuff, but it would just make me seem like a hypocrite when I’ve been espousing about being happy and stuff. K MEBBE NEXT TIME BYE.
Q 