Waking up to news of the Boston bombings today, and my first thought was: wtf not again!? And then it struck me how desensitized we’ve become to all these crazy happenings. I mean yes, we do feel upset, indignant, worried. But it becomes just.. news. That we re-tweet and read conspiracy theories about and hashtag. That realization horrified me.
I thought about how living breathing people are deprived of everything they had just because someone wholly unrelated decides to be insane. How their loved ones have it harder because they are deprived of someone who is their life, but they still have to live it. I thought of how easily that could be me. And all this – it happens everywhere, all the time. Someone out there is being undeservedly murdered for a cruel person’s pleasure.
What really gets to me is how helpless most of us are. What can my sympathy do, tbh? So what if I hashtag pray for ___. The efforts are appreciated. But it just isn’t bloody enough, yknw? I refuse to believe that passive prayers are all I can do. I don’t want to feel some pity and then go on with studying and worrying about grades. GRADES. There are people dying and all we can worry about is the BELL CURVE? Sometimes I hate students and how seriously they take themselves. This may include myself.
For the first time in my life I feel like there’s a bigger purpose I can serve, cheesy as it sounds.
When I was younger I consciously decided not to work in industries that make a difference to someone’s life/death. Like medicine or law. I don’t feel comfortable accounting for another’s life or being responsible for their well-being. Also because a lot of times I disagree with judicial law and honestly think it’s structurally unable to not be a pile of crock (sry law students). And because I am squeamish about bodily parts. So i’ve always thought i’d probably work in media, frivolous entertainment making people happy without potentially killing them.
But now? It’s like no. I actually really, really want to work somewhere that makes a difference. Law enforcement where you can prevent a crime, not just persecute a criminal after someone has lost something. Right now I have no idea where a Psych degree can get me in the field of enforcement but like ok i’m gonna get there somehow and it’s not just a whim of fancy thing like after i watched 5 seasons of Criminal Minds. Even if it’s one person i could’ve possibly saved i think i’d die happy.
Q 
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