Q

i’ve always imaged myself dating someone incredibly intelligent.

there was never a time ‘VERY CLEVER’ wasn’t stamped at the top of my criteria list, or when i wasn’t drawn to the most sardonic smart-ass in the room.

my deepest unrequited crush was on a tutor quite a few years older who never had a nice thing to say to me, but had a brilliant mind. that obviously didn’t work out because i was so consistently infatuated/in fear of his wit i couldn’t speak intelligibly (much less intelligently).

ok that was years ago, though. now i’ve nabbed myself a Justin. and god i’m glad i found someone who’s sustainably intelligent… without being romantically apathetic or emotionally abusive. sometimes i’d grab his head and profess my love directly to his brain. ya i’m weird that way. #srynotsry

just this weekend alone he impressed me all over again.

i like to ramble on and on about psychology stuff i’ve learnt in class or read off my extensive psych rss feed, and J – unfortunately for him – is the primary victim of my psych-gushing. there’s a bunch of questions in our lecture notes dealing with errors in human reasoning, etc. that we’re expected to answer incorrectly (and which most of us psych students did during lecture).

i was gleefully trying to watch him fail like the rest of us mortals but he is not fun. at. all. because he gets everything correct and also has the annoying nerve to go: “isn’t it obvious?” if i wasn’t so turned on by smarts i would slap his smug face. how does one just circumvent all the reasoning heuristics that cripple us normal human beings!?

this is also the guy who tried explaining the speed of light as a universal limit and its effects of causality: pretty much the things he enthuses about when forced to talk me to sleep (i like falling asleep to other’s voices). also i make him do my electrodynamics/relativity homework for me (USP science module don’t ask), because what’s the point of having a geeky s/o without a bit of exploitation.

ok but the last straw was when he managed to resolve what had been bothering me for days. THIS:

the diagram claimed to have found a way to maximize a block you have (chocolate, gold, wtv) by literally cutting corners. and then repositioning them to obtain its original state with an additional 1 inch block. HOW CAN THAT BE RIGHT? BUT, SO CONVINCING.

i’m horrifying with spatial problems (mental rotation and navigation impairments as rock solid evidence), so while intuitively i knew it wasn’t possible, i couldn’t figure out why. so i made use of my external brain (Justin) and got my answer in a couple of minutes. was in complete awe of myself. yes myself, because i abducted him and by extension his intellect. it’s now my property i’m holding it ransom.

for every crush and hopes of dating upwards on the IQ scale, though, there’s one thing i didn’t consider but found in J and now appreciate very, very much: interpersonal intelligence. particularly, awareness.

i mean yes, we all do stupid and irrational things at times but it’s always forgivable as long as you aren’t completely oblivious to it. i like that J is constantly aware of the dumb things he does/is doing. Justin i’m sorry for making you sound so bad, i swear this is my attempt at a compliment.

it struck me when he said one day: “you know i can tell when you’re not ok right.”

i hadn’t realized how adept i’d gotten at bottling up my annoyance at other people. there is literally no other person i can’t camouflage my vexation from. it’s such an unhealthy habit, i know, but i’ve gotten so used to it. because i’d given up on other people realizing why and how they’d annoyed me, so i’d rather not show it.

but he knows, every time. whether it’s at him or at something trivial and frankly quite silly (like an over-seasoned, over-priced, unsatisfactory meal), he’s perceptive enough to pick it up.

once in class we were discussing the how much we want our s/o to know what we’re thinking without us having to explicate it — basically relationship mind-reading. maybe it’s selfish of me, but i need it and expect it from people. i loathe explicit confrontation, so whoever it is has to be aware that something’s wrong, figure out what’s wrong, and find a way to fix the wrong.

sometimes the ideal girl/guy we’ve always wished for can fall short and sometimes they come with a nice bonus.