Q

Sometimes I wonder if it was selfish to have brought two human beings into what is spinning out to be a fucked up future.

When they’re very, very old, and at the end of their own lives, I won’t be on earth anymore.

But I hope that I’m out there somewhere, dissipated energy or some such, to hear them tell me, “Mama, I’m glad to have lived this life.”

~

I think AI and its widespread implications are, if anything, understated.

It’s accelerated by consolidation of power – political, wealth – and in turn accelerates this consolidation.

Rich people do NOT give a fuck about ruining the lives of the 99%, the you and I, also ruining the soil in which we stand on.

And so many of the 99% are happily churning out completely pointless AI images of themselves in the 90s or whatever nonsense trend there are these days.

If they could just look where we’re headed: AI (the ones who control it) has unprecedented power and control, earth is ruined, and humankind is in steady decline.

How many generations left? How many generations left who will not suffer a dystopian life?

I’m sorry, but I’m selfish, and I hope only for my boys and their immediate offspring to still have a decent life filled not with decay and disaster, but art, hope, authenticity, nature, love.

Anything beyond I have no hope for.

~

The greatest, truest wreckage I’ve done to my self is to have children.

To have children is to experience, for the first time, an impossible, impossible sort of love. It goes beyond all self preservation, because the evolutionary drive that has kept you alive all these years now transfers to the survival of your offspring. I end where they begin; everything that mattered concentrated to a pinprick focus of them.

This is why the loss of a child is the most unbearable of all. This is why parents will spend their entire lives worrying about their children. I understood it cognitively pre-kids, but now embody it.

I would literally jump into a wall of fire and die the most painful death for their survival. That is how unbearable this impossible love is. It’s impossible because it goes beyond all logic of your own well-being and survival